Regardless if we have codependency or not, it is safe to assume that we can relate to shaming ourselves when we do something that benefits us...it was one of the hardest aspects of my recovery. It took forever to recognize that my care taking was actually a manipulation, because it was given with strings attached. I liked to think I was doing it for selfless reasons, but when our worth is determined on the response from the receiver we are actually setting ourselves up and attempting to manipulate the outcome, to get the love and thanks “fix” that we so desperately need to feel worthy and validated.