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Please Don’t Stay. {Poem}

Please don’t stay because someday he will become the man you thought him to be.

Please don’t stay because he is a decent man and respected by others.

Please don’t stay because you see the potential—for happiness, for connection, for true intimacy, the potential of a best friend.

Please don’t stay because he sometimes shows up as the kind, compassionate man you fell in love with.

Please don’t stay because he tells you that what he gives you is good enough for any woman.

Please don’t stay because he puts other’s needs before his own.

Please don’t stay because he’s steady, he pays the bills or isn’t a drunk.

Please don’t stay because while he may have cheated on you once, he says he is here, with you.

Please don’t stay because you think the lies are only there to protect you.

Please don’t stay because you believe him.

Please don’t stay because he says he is trying, even though you see no difference in how he shows up.

Please don’t stay because you know that if you can only fix you, things will be better.

Please don’t stay because he still says you’re sexy and wants to make love to you, even though that is the only time he connects with you.

Please don’t stay because maybe, just maybe he will come home happy, happy to see you, happy to see your children, happy to be alive.

Please don’t stay because you have stayed for so long, you don’t know where else to go.

Please don’t stay because you have children; children learn what they see.

Please don’t stay because you are afraid to be alone.

Please don’t stay because you see loyalty—if it’s not loyalty to you, there is no loyalty.

Please don’t stay because you don’t know any other way to be—his wife, their mother, but no identity of your own.

Please don’t stay because leaving means change and change is scary.

Please don’t stay because you believe that if you screw this up, you’ll never find love.

Please don’t stay because you are worried about what other people think.

Please don’t stay because you are certain that you are not worthy—of the bit of love he gives you, or of love from anyone else.

Please don’t stay because you think no one else would have you, with your matching set of baggage, your eccentricities, your fierce loyalties to your beliefs.

Please don’t stay because you’ve never lived alone, you’ve never taken care of a family without a backup plan, you’ve never had a choice on where to live or who to be.

Please don’t stay because you are terrified—that you will always be alone, that you will die alone, that you betrayed your marriage vows.

Please don’t stay because you need someone to complete you.

Please don’t stay because you don’t know who you are.


Stay if how he shows up in your life today is enough, enough to satisfy you, enough to make you happy, enough.

Stay if he’s decent, kind and respected by you.

Stay if he is your best friend, your teammate and always has your back.

Stay if he puts in the effort to understand, relate, connect and is willing to work through the tough stuff with you.

Stay if he respects what you want, makes an effort to understand you and believes you are an exceptional woman with exceptional needs.

Stay if he puts his own needs first; he can only give to you and others if he has taken care of himself first.

Stay if his steadiness is about your relationship, if he pays the bills because you have agreed on that arrangement, if he is the best version of himself.

Stay if he’s faithful, doesn’t betray you in his heart, his mind or his body.

Stay if he’s honest—about his feelings, about who he is and tells you the truth, even if it hurts.

Stay if you believe him.

Stay if he says he is trying, that he shows up and makes an effort—not perfection—but a genuine effort.

Stay if you both can accept who you are, no fixing necessary.

Stay if your lovemaking is part of your connected, intimate relationship together.

Stay if you understand he may not always be happy, but that he loves you and your family and is willing to work on being happy, for all of your sakes.

Stay if you have been there so long, you feel like you are home.

Stay if your children are learning from you that relationships are work, that everyone puts in 100 percent effort, that we are wired for struggle, that there is no perfection.

Stay if you know you can be alone, you are whole, you don’t depend on him for your happiness.

Stay if he is loyal to you, loyal to your relationship, loyal to your family.

Stay if you are growing who you are: his wife, their mother, yourself.

Stay if you understand that the only thing constant is change.

Stay if you know that the love you have starts with you loving yourself.

Stay if staying is what you want, what he wants.

Stay if your worth is not dependent on anyone else seeing it.

Stay if he loves you, and not despite your matching set of baggage, your eccentricities, your fierce loyalties to your beliefs, but because of them.

Stay if you can be who you are, if your voice matters, if your choices are considered, if being alone means being with you.

Stay if you realize the first breath we take, we are alone and the last breath we take, we are alone.

Stay if you are complete all on your own and he is frosting.

Stay if you know who you are, you know your worth and you value yourself.


Stay.


Author: Nyki Stump

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