What is familiar is what we stay drawn to, learning to overcome our trauma takes time because it was familar. A large portion of healing from trauma comes when we slowly change our dysfunctional thinking so we have healthier relationships with ourselves and those around us. Until the “healthy doesn’t feel healthy” stage is over the struggle to turn around is significantly stronger. Turning around to what harmed us is not the answer but it can feel like it. So what helps this process so I don't become victim to the slippery slope of going backwards? Here are a few suggestions that helped me (sorry there is no magic answer or I would have found it):
Have a support network in your life to help you focus on the direction you know leads to a healthier life instead of the previous one that just felt familiar and was filled with harmful situations, people, events, substances, etc. (support groups are great options).
Have someone to call when you get triggered to go backwards, whatever that looks like for you, is essential (so have a good list of a minimum of two people).
Have someone in person that you can talk to, a counselor is a good idea.
Journal what triggered you, what you did to stop, and elaborate on your feelings about the process. Finding those nuggets of gold are amazing for your progress!
Remember, you are worth it, you CAN do this and slowly a healthy life will be familiar and the urge to go back will become less and less as time goes on. Spoken from someone who has done the work and continues to do so; I know you can too.
In Loving Service,
Kimberly Sprintz, Founder & Director
Women Empowering Women Support Groups