The holidays present us with many generational obligation's that may no longer work for us in our life nor align with our belief systems. How many of the traditions do we still take part in that we do simply out of habit? Here are a few things to consider...
Consider injecting selfcare into the holiday and be GRATEFUL that YOU have the right to do what is best for yourself. We practice selfcare by determining what we have emotional space for in our day, what activities and commitments we agree to and inject as many "I am unavailable for that this year, however, I am available for _____", a softer way to decline but to be clear; is still a NO and eliminates things that will only cause you more stress during a time of year. When we say no to holiday obligations, invitations, etc., we make space for new traditions that can be made individually and/or can be co-created with those you love.
Consider reviewing what stresses you the most during the holidays and identify alternatives or eliminate that activity completely. Remember, we are here to EMPOWER each other to set boundaries and navigate challenges and the holidays are no exception. When we do what we can handle, live in authentic alignment with our soul, we are happier and more joyful and others will likely be also.
Consider NOT CELEBRATING! Holidays in my life look much differently than they have in the past. I hold enough room in my life to make decisions that work best in the present and no longer obligate myself to do what everyone else does simply because it has always been. This will likely be met with serious resistance in many circumstances, however, remembering that we are not required to explain our reasoning unless we feel it is healthy to do so. That means when we do explain, it is not to open the floor for feedback or debate, it simply is an effort to help someone you value understand; this is healthy communication. Communication turns unhealthy when we fail to honor our boundaries simply as an attempt to make the person we value feel better. You both have the right to determine what is best for you, one doesn't have to be "right or wrong", it can be right for me and right for them and not be the same decision...
This year, take the time to check in with yourself so you can have a happy and healthier holiday experience that honors who you are NOW and release the OBLIGATIONS of holding up dysfunctional holiday traditions, enabling codependent behaviors and going along with it as always at the expense of your independent beliefs and needs in your life right now. Create new memories that are filled with happiness and trail and error instead of STRESS and CHAOS that may go along with your celebrations as they did for mine. We all deserve happiness, we just have to stand in our power and ask for what we want, say what needs to be said and know that we are worth it!
I hope to see you all at our next meeting December 3, 2021!
Kimberly Sprintz, Director and Founder
Women Empowering Women Support Groups
Questions to Ponder;
- What traditions do I enjoy and which ones cause me the most stress?
- Who benefits from my stress and am I partaking to make them happy at my own expense?
- What are things that have consistently occurred in previous holiday gatherings that I can identify?
- What can I say in response to these triggers that is respectful of myself and others?
- If I could do anything I wanted for a holiday, what would it be? Expand with all the details...essentially daydream on paper!
- How am I different now than I have been in previous years? What new knowledge of understanding of the world has changed the way I see the holidays and what they mean to me? How can I honor these differences?