Monthly ZOOM Workshops
July 2020- December 2020
Schedule for Workshop Series
Series One- Hard Conversations 7/26, 8/30, 9/27
Series Two- Permission 10/25
Series Three- Completion 11/29
Series Four- Fantasy Tells 12/20 not the last Sunday due to Holiday
What to expect if you will be attending. This first meeting is an introduction to the group, and introduction to myself and my husband, as many of you do not know him. We are both in Recovery as well as Codependents.
What we plan to do in this workshop is to:
1. Share Communication methods that have worked for us, trailblazing into the realm of "healthy relationships" for the first time.
One of the key aspects that make our marriage and relationship of five years so healthy, is that we HAVE THE HARD CONVERSATIONS.
2. Show how you can learn to "Hold Space" and "Receive" without trying to "FIX".
3. How to create a "Safe Space" to share openly
4. Address what is holding you back in your communication with your lover, partner, spouse, or addressing what you know WILL be an issue with a future spouse. (Hang Ups, Ego, Codependency)
5. Practice Activities that provide a topic "issue" and role play with a NON partner (for those with partners in the group).
6. Stating our Goals for THAT conversation, what and to whom it will be with
7. Address the FALSE THINKING that is universally an issue for all humans
8. Practice Mindfulness Exercises to learn to be PRESENT with you partner.
9. Make a WISH list, for things in the future you would like to talk about, try or explore, etc.
10. Feedback Round-table for the final meeting where we discuss the "Up's and Down's" so we learn to identify "potential growth areas", and discuss what can be focused on differently.
Pushing past our comfort zones, we learned how to speak our truth, honor our boundaries, safely confront the uncomfortable, swallow our ego and pride, and found true joy and the most intimate connection on the other side. In this workshop we share our experience, strength and hope with you. We will go over some of the methods we do such as journal techniques, conversation activities, active listening, etc. (PEN AND PAPER IS NEEDED).
The followup meetings aim to build up the confidence you need to face any hard conversation with loved ones. In between meetings you will be given homework to complete...I will also add items here as supplemental items in case you are really motivated to take it to the next level.
Our goal is to help to guide you into a new way of relating with your spouse, lover, friends, and family. Healthy Relationships is why many of us joined CoDA and went into our Recovery for Addictions and Disorders...this is a way to provide a safe container to practice these skills so you can build your communication muscles and have the healthy and fulfilling relationships we all deserve.
This is an ANONYMOUS Meeting and will NOT BE RECORDED. You MUST HAVE YOUR VIDEO ON AT ALL TIMES. This is also open to MEN, WOMEN, and ALL GENDER IDENTIFICATIONS, FULLY INCLUSIVE.
BEFORE OUR NEXT MEETING FOR 9/27/20
Here is the Homework for our Third and FINAL of the “Hard Conversations” Workshop Series
Part One: Journal Homework
*This is private journaling to be without the intent to share with anyone but yourself.
Find a place that is private, get paper/pen and get as comfortable as you can. Use the 478 breathing technique first or at the least, pay attention to your breath for a few minutes and rest (Important for this activity). When you are ready close your eyes and try to recall a conversation that went badly with a lover from any interpersonal relationship you had, try to remember everything about that conversation from leading up to it, having it, and immediately after.
**TRIGGER ALERT** this can be triggering so try to find an example from your past that isn’t traumatic (the goal is not to cause intense anxiety, so if it does then stop)!
you thought would end badly that actually didn’t....write for a total of 5 minutes about what the outcome you expected was before the conversation, (Pay attention to what your body is experiencing in the present. If you notice physical reactions at this time, make a note of those too!). Then ask your self what the actual outcome was, how you felt before the conversation and after the conversation. Then how your body felt before starting the conversation if you can and also after the situation ended. Repeat the process but this The goal for this journaling prompt is to help you see how your body responds to positive outcomes even when you anticipate that it would go wrong (common for us all ). Then to see how your body felt when it went wrong. processing these differences will help you to objectively see how you experience healthy outcomes vs unhealthy outcomes and see how our storytelling is not always accurate. Finally, one key part is to connect with your personal feelings...when you get anxious you feel.....when you hold back from speaking up for yourself you felt like...it’s important because how can we tell someone our feelings and our experience if we don’t know what our full experience was?
All of this is healthy, you are learning to respect and honor yourself and your partner,It’s just. It helps us face our fears in a safe way before we attempt to do it in the present.
Part Two of Homework
Now it’s the fun part....romance, lovemaking, one on one time...these tools today will help in the next meeting. You need to think about something you want to try sexually, to discuss, etc. What do you need to say that you haven’t? Journal on that and sit with those things (worse case scenarios/best case scenarios) basically as before ask yourself “what is holding you back”?